Great Essay by Andy Rooney


Andy Rooney January 14, 1919 – November 4, 2011

Andy Rooney passed away last year. He was a journalist for CBS. He used to do a segment at the end of 60 minutes where he moaned about stuff like bags of potato chips being 3/4 filled with air and 1/4 chips.
I always thought he was a bit of a whinger, then I read this:

“As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just  a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the  night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining  about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more  interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,  what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give  a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you  at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate  to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s  like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women  friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend  because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t  care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t  betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman  over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true  of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far  sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are  a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you  stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,  it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of  forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of  himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for  free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage,  why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a  little sausage.”



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