10 Beauty Tips that Trump the Ages

  1. SMILE when you’re feeling lonely!

Trump-smile-1A natural smile is a thing of beauty. It shows the true you and reveals your compassion and understanding to the world. Lip gloss and a nude lipstick help accentuate that inner beauty. Keeping smiling, and you’ll never walk alone.

2. Don’t Lose Your Head on Bad Hair Days!

Trump Hair

A little coconut goes a long way-oil that is. Dead ends are deadly. They can leave you hair weak, brittle and thin. A little dab of coconut oil on those dry split ends will make the world of difference. And a trim every 8 weeks to keep those unruly bangs in check wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

3. Come Flyaway, Come Flyaway with me

Trump Flyaway Hair

There’s nothing like a fresh breeze to blow away the cobwebs, unless of course your hair glue isn’t strong enough to keep things in place. When in doubt, carry a tube of Elmer’s glue. Just don’t get it mixed up with your lip gloss, or maybe…..

4. The Girl From Ipanema

Trump TanSing it with me….”Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking, and when she passes, each one she passes goes….Ahhhh.” We all know the dangers of too much sun, skin cancer, Aktinic Keratosis and so on. Reaching for the Self-Tanner is a safe option to provide that healthy golden hue. Reaching for it too often provides the oompa loompa effect. Remember, self-tanner takes a while to work. Wait a month between applications and rubbing it in well around the eyes prevents the jaundice effect.

5. Spanx for the Memories

Trump Belly

Before a big event, skipping a large meal in favor of a lighter option is always the best choice. The overhang is never a good look. For those of who can’t refuse those finger licking meals, I always give Spanx a thumbs up.

6. VPL on VIP/MVP?

An arse Playing Tennis

Oh those dreaded VPLs, Visible Panty Lines! Showing us where the glute meets the hams. White is a difficult color to wear, and going commando when your a VIP and MVP just isn’t an option. Skorts are your bestie in situations like this.

7. Do Crows Have Feet?

Trump Crows FeetDoes the Pope wear a funny hat? Of course crows have feet, but we call them claws. Crows Feet are an entirely different animal altogether. Those lines fanning outwards from the sides of our eyes aren’t wrinkles, they are crows feet! Putting scotch tape on your shoulder won’t help prevent those lines from getting deeper. It’s supposed to go either side of your eyes, you silly Billy!

8. Double, Double, Chin Means Trouble!

Trump Turkey NeckNow, unless you’re a pelican bringing takeout home, this look just doesn’t work. There are plenty of facial exercises, but start early. If you are past the sell by date on facial exercises, liposuction and surgery are your best bet.

9. Knees Up, Knees Up, Never Let The Breeze Up!

Most of us forget that our knees need to be part of our beauty regime. Back to the coconuts! Oil that is, white gold, Tropical Tea. Rub that oil in good and well on your knees to give them that supple healthy skin they deserve.

10. Hats OFF to you!

Trump Hat Head

If you have worn that hat all day, hats off to you, not literally, figuratively speaking. KEEP THE HAT ON if you’ve been wearing it for an hour or more. That flat hat head hair is never, ever a good look.

Remember, you are beautiful, no matter what they say. But these 10 beauty tricks have Trumped the ages and when put to use as part of a regular beauty routine, you’ll be feeling like the princess that you are in no time at all. And if that fails, you can always go furniture shopping!







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